Me vs Them

It's been a long week. It's been a rough week. I got 2 of my children in trouble at school this week and I feel bad. Faith got her responsibility stick pulled at school this week because I forgot to sign and return her reading log (3 days in a row) and Brycen got in trouble because I told him he didn't have to read Monday night. Crazy.

Brycen's bothers me so much more.....this is why.....

As you all know by now I am reading the entire Harry Potter series to the boys. The school makes reading mandatory,which for the most part I agree with. But... it's mandatory for Brycen to read for 30 minutes every night. Every single night. I read to them 4 nights a week and they have to read on their own 3 nights (or in Trevor's case until he reaches his 140 minutes per week)

Last weekend we were so close to the end of HP book 4 "The Goblet of Fire". They begged me to finish it. We read for a total of 6 hours. Yes, SIX hours over the weekend. My throat was killing me. Four of those hours were straight through on Sunday. We only broke for dinner and bathroom breaks. It was such a good book.

I promised them after we finished the book we would watch the movie. Trevor had paid for the movie out of his own money. He was dying to see it and my rule is that you cannot see the movie until the book is finished. Well we finished the book at 8:30 Sunday night. I told them that we could watch the movie Monday night. So when Monday got here I told them if they finished all their homework we would watch the movie. I told Brycen that I was making the decision for him NOT to read. I would write the teacher a note.

I was really looking forward to discussing both the movie and the book with them to see how much they were actually comprehending. We had amazing discussions about the huge differences. We talked throughout the movie and then after the movie. Brycen was quoting lines from the book, verbatum, when telling of differences between the two. It was a proud mommy moment!

So I wrote the teacher a note on his reading log explaining how I really wanted this opportunity to see what his comprehension was. I think these discussions are a key element to their learning. She did not read the note and he got in trouble. I felt terrible. So Monday night I wrote another note so she would see it on Tuesday. Again, she never saw it. She never read it until THURSDAY. His book is supposed to be checked daily. It's in his IEP. We have a communication notebook. Anyhow, I get a note on Thursday evening telling me this:

"Michelle- nightly reading is so important. If Brycen chooses to read more on weekend's that's fantastic but the nightly consitent reading is one of the major keys to academic success and that's why we stress it so much. If you can't read with him he can read 20 minutes by himself at home. He is able to do that in class and answer questions with little difficulty." *She also wrote above it: I did see your note and love the discussion you did*

Then there is an arrow and it points to the next page. His Special Ed teacher writes:

"Fluency is important right now. I am giving Brycen a book for him to read independently. Diane (his teacher) and I discussed this. I will be asking Brycen a verbal question each morning. Re: What he read the night before. Let me know if you have questions."

Ok, we missed ONE FREAKING NIGHT OF READING!!!! Are you kidding me? I feel like he is being punished because I said he didn't have to.

I know that reading is a HUGE part of a child's success at school. I know that a love of reading is the best gift I can give my child. BUT.....making it mandatory every single night is crazy. It feels like a punishment to him. Now they are making him read a book he doesn't want to read and then being quizzed on it. I know he has issues. I know he needs to build fluency....that's why I hand them the Harry Potter books and make them read me a page each!

I believe that for a child to love reading they have to WANT to do it and not be told that it must be done daily (except for younger ages where you are really trying to introduce and instill the love of reading....like at Faith's age level).

Trevor's grade changed it this year. Instead of the mandatory 20 minutes per night they now have to read a total of 140 minutes per week. They can read an hour one night and then break the rest up or 20 minutes per night. It gives them a CHOICE. How many people read for pleasure every night? I would love to but my schedule doesn't allow for it. I think that the kids should be allowed the CHOICE. To feel like they have some control over it. I know that Trevor is more willing to read this year because he's not forced to read every, single, solitary night and on the nights that he does read on his own he is reading for over 20 minutes and not watching the clock like Brycen is.

So anyhow, I spoke with his SPED teacher. I have her home phone number. I told her how upset I was by all this and I told her he will read her book on the 3 nights that I make him read and no more. I am not going to let him feel like he is being punished. I agreed to her book this time because she has already read it and has questions prepared. It looks like a good book too. It won't kill him. She wasn't happy about the 3 nights but she agreed.

So then I found out he didn't turn in his homework 2 days this week. He claims he forgot. So they sent him to Homework Club in place of Friday club ( fun clubs that go from 8-10 on Fridays while the teachers have their team meetings). Homework club is new this year. You get sent to Homework Club when you don't turn in your homework. I told him that's the choice he makes when he doesn't do all his work. I figured 2 extra hours on spelling would be good for him. Imagine my shock when he said...."I had to read the whole time I was there".....WHAT????? No spelling, no sentences? Please tell me I heard this wrong. Please tell me that they are NOT using reading as a punishment. I haven't spoken to his classroom teacher yet. I will speak to her on Monday.

So I am left with the major question.....How do I make them understand my point of view? I want my child to love reading and I don't think whacking him on the head with a book every single night is going to make him love it.

Tell me...what do you think? Should a child be forced to read every night or should they be able to chose the nights they read as long as they meet the minute requirement at the end of the week?