"I'm Sorry"

They are the 2 most powerful words in the english language. They can make a bad day good, they can end fights or wars; they can make a broken heart mend, they can earn you repsect. They are 2 very important words and being able to say them means that you accept that you may have a flaw, that you did something wrong or that you regret something. It means that you accept responsibility for doing/saying something you shouldn't have and regret the pain it inflicted, regardless of how great or small, on another human being.

Saying these words to a person can be even more powerful than "I love you".

In the absence of these words not many good things happen.
When the words "I'm sorry" aren't uttered it can cause hurt, pain and resentment.

When Brenden was a little boy he bit a friend of mine. He bit him hard too. He left teeth marks right on his shoulder. I scooped him up and sat him on a chair. I told him he must apologize. He was 2. He just looked at me with those big brown eyes and I knew....he wasn't going to apologize. He wasn't sorry. That revelation was a scary one. He bit a person, he wasn't sorry and he wasn't going to say he was sorry. That kid sat in that chair for almost an hour. He never said I'm sorry.

Forcing a person to apologize doesn't work. It doesn't make the hurt party feel any better knowing they forced the apology. A mubmled or yelled "I'm sorry" doesn't work and neither does starting or following the apology with an excuse. That just makes it worse. My children do this to one another all the time and it drives me insane.

An "I'm sorry" should come from the heart. It should mean something to both people. "I'm sorry" can't be one sided. It has to make both parties feel better. The person that was hurt needs to know that the person whom inflicted the pain upon them really and truly cares enough about them and their feelings to not only say the words...but to mean them. The person giving the apology needs to know that the person they have hurt will forgive them more easily with a real honest and true apology. That the "I'm sorry" will make the relationship stronger. That it will instill trust on both sides. An "I'm sorry" just cannot be onesided. If it is it has no meaning.

Today I dropped Brenden off at wrestling. As he got out of the car I asked "will you be home for dinner?" he said I don't know, I'll call if I am. I said ok and drove off.

I cooked dinner and only cooked one steak. I never heard from him. He walked in as I was washing the dishes. He asked if there was anymore dinner. I told him I only cooked one steak because he never told me he would be home. Then he said:

"I'm Sorry, I meant to call and I forgot"!! No excuse, no getting mad at me, no yelling. It was honest, genuine and it was beautiful. Pure music to my ears.

I smiled to myself. Realized he has grown into a fine young man and took another steak out of the freezer and made him dinner.

The power of a simple "I'm sorry" made all the difference.